Proximity

For some hours each day, we are in the same small town.

We work 10 minutes away from each other.





For all I know, he could be in Greenland.

Gaze

He once made me beautiful with his eyes. Young.





He then made me a witch with his eyes. Old.






He remained beautiful.
So did his eyes.

Privacy

Our nakedness was our feast.






Now I shower behind a closed door and dress hidden in a dark room.

Because he does not want to see me.

Knowledge

Lightning one two three thunder.

Lightning one two thunder.




He knows I am scared of storms.



He is not here.

Objects

Every single knife in the house contains his touch.

Every single door knob.

Light switch.

Pillow case.



I kiss the napkins.

So close and faraway.

Love

Love is all around me.

The sunset breathes his name.

I love him.

The pain is sweet, lovely. I love him.

Everything makes me love him.

Even hope.

Dawn

I am cold. I wake up.

As I emerge from my subconscious universe, the weight of his decision crashes my chest. The walls around his heart collapse over me.

He is free.

Farewell

"From Middle English farewel, from fare wel!, an imperative expression, equivalent to fare (“to fare, travel, journey”) +‎ well."

Nothing truer than this wish for the one who left without looking back.

A last kiss in the darkness of the guests toilet, where I had taken refuge to blow my nose and dry my tears.

And he was gone.

The engine of his car could be heard for minutes, escaping in the night of our last embrace.

Separation

Our moments together were a garland of laughter and conversations.

Now the air between us is awkward, tense, cold.

The balm that kept us fluid has frozen.

The bridges are gone.

The lighthouses extinct.

The wreath is broken.

No touch, no embrace, no kiss.



Only loss.

Entropy

There was once timeless endless passion. Everywhere. Any time.




Now he says,

- It's too hot.

Death of a Love

I wander through the house - sweat trickling down my spine and temples - drowning in the pain of his absence, his definite farewell.

I can barely function. The particles of air around me make my body hurt.

I should be in hospital, my heart on a tray, in pieces.

Instead, I go to bed early. I have to work tomorrow and smile.



No funeral for my Love.

No words.

No comfort.

Just pain.